WIN BIG ON RIVALRY WEEK!

To throw out the records, or not throw out the records… that is the question on Rivalry Week. We loaded up this week’s slate with 15 of the most intense rivlaries for your picking pleasure. And to the victor, go the awesome spoils of a $100 credit to our friends at Pristine Auction, as well as an Ultimate Ears Wonderboom 3 Portable Speaker.

It could not be easier to play. Simply sign up for any Patreon tier and follow the directions to submit your picks. And, while you’re at it, reap the benefits of our other Patreon perks, including ad-free episodes, bonus content, unfettered access to our great Discord community, scheme breakdown videos and much more! All Patreon tiers instantly get access to our great games and prizes!

THE LOOKAHEAD

Which Rivalries Have the Most Juice?

Alright, no messing around — it’s rivalry week.

The pinnacle of college football, rivalry week is when records, tantrums and TV remotes all get thrown in the span of an afternoon. While not every fan is blessed with a fun, interesting matchup, there’s plenty of spite and vengeance to go around. Let’s look at the juiciest ones.

The Apple Cup: No. 4 Washington vs Washington State

4:00 pm ET (FOX)

In Week 10, Oklahoma State defeated Oklahoma in the final rendition of Bedlam as we know it. It was everything Pokes fans could have hoped for, sending the Sooners off to the SEC with a loss while securing nearly perpetual bragging rights. Now, Wazzu has a chance to do the same.

Washington has a Pac-12 Championship date, Playoff aspirations and a ticket to the Big Ten. By comparison, Washington State has nothing. That’s what makes them so dangerous.

At this point, I’ve convinced myself there’s no way the Cougars lose. What would be more Pac-12 than its best shot at the Playoff crumbling in rivalry week? Wazzou might be horrifically outmatched, but nothing on the Washington sideline rivals the Cougars’ sheer spite right now.

Relax, Huskies. Win or lose, you’re just a year away from getting into glorious 13-10 battles with Iowa and Minnesota on a biweekly basis. Who’s the loser now?

The Game: No. 3 Michigan vs No. 2 Ohio State

12:00 pm ET (FOX)

For over a decade, we watched the Buckeyes dominate this historic rivalry while Wolverine fans insisted things would be different if Michigan were willing to “cheat” like Ohio State.

Well, um, maybe they were right?

The Connor Stalions sign-stealing saga is what gives this year’s rendition of The Game maximum juice. A rivalry is only as strong as each team’s belief that their opponents are godless heathens that will never see the kingdom of heaven. I guarantee you there will be pastors across Ohio tomorrow who use today’s game in a clumsy metaphor about taking the high road.

Or, if Ohio State loses a third year in a row, maybe they’ll use it as proof that god just hates the Buckeyes.  

Paul Bunyan’s Axe: Minnesota vs. Wisconsin

3:30 pm ET (FS1)

Much like the countless frozen turkeys dropped into vats of screaming hot oil throughout the Midwest this past Thanksgiving, the fight for Paul Bunyan’s ask is sure to be a barn burner.

You’ve got Wisconsin fresh off a bounce-back win against Nebraska following losses to Northwestern and Indiana. You’ve got Minnesota battling for bowl eligibility on a three-game losing streak. Two defenses that are probably great but we’ll never know because they play Big Ten West offenses going against, well, Big Ten West offenses.

The air? Literally freezing. The vibes? Poor at best. The juice? Flowing like the Mississippi River.

To be clear, we’re talking about jungle juice. Drink up, Badgers and Gophers. Season’s almost over.

Palmetto Bowl: Clemson vs. South Carolina

7:30 pm ET (SEC Network)

Clemson had owned South Carolina for the better part of the last decade until the Gamecocks pulled a 31-30 road upset last year and turned this rivalry on its ear. With this year’s game back home on Columbia, don’t sleep for a second on South Carolina, which needs this win to get bowl eligible and hand its biggest rival its fifth loss of the season.

Juice. A plenty.

 -Bradley Hohulin

THE VERBALLERHOOD

Getting the most out of Rivalry Week

Some quick hits to get you primed and ready to go this week:

1️⃣ Listen to our Week 13 preview episode

It’s not just Ohio State vs. Michigan! We went through all the big (named) matchups in a little over an hour. You’ve still got time to cram!

2️⃣ Roast someone or something on our voicemail line: 855-VERBAL3 (855-837-2253)

Passions run high on Rivalry Week. Vent on our voicemail line and we’ll play our favorites on the Week 13 recap pod.

(Oh, and if you’re looking for a fun place to hang, we invite you to come lurk on our Discord and see if it’s something you’re into.)

3️⃣ Join our live watchalong at noon ET!

4️⃣ Support the podcast by leaving us a 5-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts

Please consider leaving us a 5-star rating and review if you listen over on Apple Podcasts! This week, I’m going to start calling out reviewers. Bonus points to anyone that mentions that they’re also a Quick Slants Newsletter subscriber! And, of course, Verballers.com is the spot for you if you’d like ad-free episodes, bonus content and more!

-Ty Hildenbrandt