RIP Cheez-It Bowl, Air-Conditioned Helmets & Impossible Balls

1) The Cheez-It Bowl is dead. Long live the Pop-Tarts Bowl!

When news broke yesterday that the Cheez-It Bowl was no more, it sent a shockwave through the college football community. I can only imagine the tearful conversations that took place at dinner tables, especially between parents and school-aged children.

Alas, a different hyphenated junk food has swooped in and claimed the mantle. Pop-Tarts is taking over and, per this press release, very excited about it. I’ll be honest, unless they plan to follow tradition and use a gimmicky food stunt to crown the victor, I’m out

Also, do you know the full history of this friggin’ bowl game? We posted the above chart on our Instagram, Facebook and Twitter accounts (please follow, btw!) to show you the crazy naming journey. Some of us are old enough to remember every iteration of this bowl game. Sigh.

2) The SEC’s Great Scheduling Debate

Like the first sign of cherry blossoms after a harsh winter, you know the college football offseason is progressing normally when conversation cycles back around to the SEC’s great scheduling debate. The question is simple: Should teams play eight or nine conference games? The answer is not.

Drinkwitz, who stuck his foot in his mouth earlier this week, put a bow on the perpetual debate. The conference will need to make up its mind before next season when it adds Texas and Oklahoma and scraps its divisional structure.

Personally, I’m a proponent of retaining as many rivalries as possible, and if a nine game slate makes that happen, then sign me up. The extremely cynical view is that this is all a big ruse to get more money from ESPN, but regardless, I think it’s the right thing for the conference to do. For what it’s worth, Texas’s AD feels similarly.

Which side are you on?

3) LSU to wear air-conditioned helmets in 2023!

Apparently, this is a real thing and has been for a bit, though I absolutely triple-checked to make sure I wasn’t falling for a fake account. Yes, LSU will be wearing air-conditioned helmets in 2023 during all practices and games. Yes, man can build such wonders. And yes, I spend an inordinate amount of time learning how they work and how to install them.

The units are battery-powered and last five hours with a lifespan of about four years. If these work as advertised, it’s only a matter of time until everyone has them, especially teams in warmer climates.

4) Change afoot at Iowa?

Frustrated Iowa fans rejoiced online this week after news broke that Iowa’s longtime athletic director, Gary Barta, would retire on August 1st. Barta has been at Iowa since 2006 and for the majority of the Kirk Ferentz era. Earlier this season, he made headlines by modifying the contract of offensive coordinator Brian Ferentz to include a 25-points-per-game-or-else ultimatum for the 2023 season. It’s unclear if either Ferentz is taking the new KPIs seriously.

Barta’s retirement sets up an interesting dynamic in Iowa City. It seems likely that now-interim AD, Beth Goetz, will be named as the permanent replacement. Though it’d be a promotion from within, Goetz has only been with Iowa since 2018 and may not feel as wedded to the Ferentz family as her predecessor. At a minimum, she’ll need to have a plan for the next chapter of the Hawkeyes football program. Could she take things in a different direction before Ferentz’s contract expires in 2029?

5) Your weekly Pac-12 Health Check

It will come as a surprise to no one reading this newsletter, but Dennis Dodd still thinks the Pac-12 is dying and, this week, offered some hints as to how. The latest rumor is the Colorado has held “substantive” talks with the Big 12. Colorado’s AD, Rick George, didn’t exactly deny the reporting, but it’s hard to judge whether a move is imminent or if this is a PR play by the Big 12 to get more schools interested in jumping ship. Regardless, if the Buffs would decide to move back to the Big 12, it would likely trigger a domino effect and another round of conference realignment. Weeeeeeee!

Others Receiving Votes

• Mark Rober built a ball that is impossible to hit

• Here’s how not to mount a TV

• If only because we’ve been using Michael Scott sounds on our last few episodes, here’s a “best of” montage from The Office

WHAT'S GOOD IN THE VERBALLERHOOD?

This week, we continued our early quest through EVERY POWER 5 SCHEDULE by taking a closer look at the ACC and Pac-12.

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