The October Wake Up Call + A Duck Named Quacktavious & Win a Nintendo Switch!

How many times have you heard Wake Me Up When September Ends since we last spoke? Be honest. Did you play it on your own, or was it served to you by an algorithm or radio deejay? In nearly all cases, someone or something feels very creative playing that song at the beginning of October and, you know what, we approve.

In today’s college football newsletter:

  • OK, which teams may actually wake up now that September has ended?

  • Quacktavious the Duck and 5 things you missed from the past week

  • Bouncing back on Super Ball Saturday

(Also, we’re giving away a Nintendo Switch (!!!) for this week’s pick’em game. More on that in a sec.)

-Ty Hildenbrandt & Bradley Hohulin


Who’s Due For A Wake-Up Call?

Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

As one of the great poets of the Western canon once said: Wake me up when September ends.

So far this season, multiple teams have coasted through their schedule like a tight end through USC’s back seven. Whether it’s beating up on a team from the FCS, the Group of 5 or basically half the ACC, it’s easy to look great in September. Well, it’s time for a wake-up call. Today, let’s explore some undefeated squads trying to avoid a rude awakening in Week 6:

No. 1 Georgia and No. 20 Kentucky

The case for Kentucky is pretty obvious. You likely can’t count on your fifth-year running back to rush for 280 and three touchdowns, no matter how much head coach Mark Stoops wants to make that his whole game plan. And nobody supplies rude awakenings like Georgia.

Then again, the Bulldogs have looked pretty vulnerable. I mean, Auburn had like, 11 yards of offense last week and only lost to the Dawgs by a touchdown. My gut says this is the week Georgia puts it all together, but in a season as bizarre and beautifully ugly as this one, there might not be a team more primed for an upset than Kentucky. May the low-70s quarterback ratings commence.

No. 3 Texas and No. 12 Oklahoma

Texas is trying to live up to the insane hype it’s been riding since beating Alabama, while Oklahoma is trying to remind us it’s been a superpower for the better part of this millennia. Texas seems like the superior team, but believing in Texas feels like Charlie Brown trying to place-kick a football at this point.

I imagine it’s rough for fans of remaining Big 12 schools to watch this one, but you can at least take solace in the fact that someone has to lose.

No. 21 Missouri (vs. No. 23 LSU)

Maybe it’s because I’m a Midwesterner who largely watches bad teams, but I have a soft spot for Mizzou this year. Call me a masochist, but I love a typically mediocre team chipping its way to respectability.

That said, I also have a soft spot for LSU quarterback Jayden Daniels, clearly a fellow sucker for pain given the amount of comically brutal hits he’s taken this season. If Mizzou has a rude awakening, it will probably be Daniels’ fault.

I’ll take Missouri and over-2.5 plays on which Jayden Daniels gets tackled so hard I involuntary shout, “Oh, NO.”

Maryland (at No. 4 Ohio State)

If there were a September All-Stars team, its roster would be full of Maryland players. The Terps typically walk through September like Wile E. Coyote across a canyon. Then October comes, they look down, and queue the cartoon slide whistle.

To be fair, Maryland’s games against Ohio State have gotten closer every year. But I went to Indiana. I watched a plucky underdog get closer and closer but never cross the threshold, like a line reaching an asymptote (I think; it’s been a while since calculus). It doesn’t matter how even the matchup is. As a Big Ten East non-power, you could cover a half point spread against Ohio State and somehow still lose. And no, I’m definitely not just salty. When does basketball season start again?

-Bradley Hohulin


Congrats, we made it through September! After careful analysis, we’ve determined we have enough coin to go big with our prize for Week 6. We’re giving away a Nintendo Switch to this week’s winner.

It could not be easier to play. Simply sign up for any Patreon tier and follow the directions to submit your picks. And, while you’re at it, reap the benefits of our other Patreon perks, including ad-free episodes, bonus content, unfettered access to our great Discord community, scheme breakdown videos and much more! All Patreon tiers instantly get access to our great games and prizes!


Things you missed from last week

1) If you hate the transfer portal, you can hate it a little less! This week, the NCAA announced modifications to the window of time during which players can transfer. Previously, players had 45 days at the conclusion of each season and an additional 15 days in the spring. Under these new rules, players will only have 30 days at the end of each season to make their move, while the spring schedule remains the same.

2) Welp, the Phil Jurkovec homecoming tour took a bit of a turn. It was big news when Jurkovec, a western Pennsylvania native, decided to transfer to Pitt from Boston College in the offseason. It seemed like a logical upgrade at quarterback, especially since was reuniting with his former offensive coordinator, Frank Cignetti, under whom he thrived with the Eagles. [INSERT GRIMACE EMOJI HERE 😬]

Jurkovec had a dreadful September, completing just 50% of his throws. If you were mean enough, you absolutely could have made the joke that quarterback was not his best position. It seems Pat Narduzzi was feeling that, too. Jurkovec is moving to tight end and passing the torch to another transfer quarterback, Christian Veilleux, to run the offense.

3) Quacktavious. That’s the name of a live duck that took in the action from inside Autzen Stadium as the Oregon Ducks blew out Colorado 42-6 on September 23rd. Click the article to get the full story, if only for the part where the student section chanted “KEEP THE DUCK!”

4) No, Urban Meyer is not getting the Michigan State job. Contrary to what this guy had to say, there is exactly a 0% chance that the Spartans, mired in one coaching scandal, would willingly sign up for another.

5) I’m going to toss this big balloon of business mumbo jumbo and… run in the other direction! kthxbye

-Ty Hildenbrandt


Bouncing back on Super Ball Saturday

My co-host, Dan Rubenstein, makes a weekly habit of giving each college football Saturday a unique name. This week’s theme focused on resiliency among college football’s top teams and also called back to the sheer childhood joy of hurling a super ball at full force inside of a house. Ahh, the memories.

1️⃣ Listen to our Week 6 preview episode

Stop by for the analysis of Week 6’s biggest games, stay for our discussion about the potential “Big Johnson Moment” in the Alabama-Texas A&M game.

☝️ Also, if you consider yourself a super college football dork, we popped the hood on the statistical profiles of Maryland and Kentucky. We do this every Thursday over on

2️⃣ Call the Reverb Line at 855-VERBAL3 (855-837-2253)

While you’re watching the games this weekend, call our voicemail line and leave us a real-time reaction. The more emotion, the better. Really go for it. This week, we’re going to play our Reverbs as part of the Monday show to give you all more time to react to USC’s inevitable defensive collapse against Arizona in the late kick. That said, we can still hang out on the midnight live stream and talk through everything else. Find it here at midnight ET on Saturday. Oh, and if you’re looking for a fun place to hang, we invite you to come lurk on your Discord and see if it’s something you’re into.

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Thanks for reading. Until next week, stay solid!