Kiffin Critics, the $9 Million Club & the Worst Nic Cage Movie Yet?

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Onwards!

Here's my very unofficial ranking of the 5½ college football things that got the juices flowing over the last week:

1) Surprisingly Honest Lane Kiffin might be the best Lane Kiffin

The end-of-year coaching carousel spins a little faster and more frenetically with each passing season. If you're reading this, you already know that college football loves itself a juicy rumor about a big name coach switching schools. In 2023, wild coaching speculation is its own cottage industry.

That's why I enjoyed this piece in which Lane Kiffin opened up about his struggles from within the eye of the storm. Kiffin, you may recall, was one of Auburn's primary targets after it parted ways with Bryan Harsin. In this interview, he speaks to the difficulties of considering a new job while being pressured by outside forces to re-commit to Ole Miss. In short, the happy medium between "due diligence" and "emphatic public statement" doesn't really exist.

We're so used to talking about the coaching carousel from a fan's perspective. It feels like Kiffin's honesty adds an important bit of humanity to the discussion.

2) The $9 Million Club

Thanks to our friends over at 247Sports, here's a list of ten highest paid coaches entering the 2023 college football season, ranked by annual salary. To quote the wise prophet Cosmo Kramer: "That's a lot of potatoes."

As the article states, there are now 10 coaches making at least $9 million annually, thus comprising the "elite" tier of the college coaching profession. Most of these names will come as no surprise. Apparently, all it takes to make $11 million in this market is multiple national championships. No biggie.

I will admit that I reacted most to Mel Tucker's salary. For the record, I've been on the Tucker Train since 2017 when he was still a defensive coordinator at Georgia. I love the guy. And I respect that Michigan State moved aggressively to protect him after its 11-2 campaign in 2021. But if I'm being completely honest, it feels like 2023 will be an important year in justifying his salary. Defense remains an issue for the Spartans, as does a tough schedule featuring, Michigan, Ohio State, Penn State, Iowa, Washington and others.

3) Stadium rentals are... surprisingly affordable?

Shoutout to OwlsDaily.com for its intrepid reporting on how much it costs Temple football to rent Lincoln Financial Field from the Philadelphia Eagles. In 2021, the Owls paid $2.85 million to rent out the stadium, which averaged out to around $475,000 per game. Am I wrong, or does that sound stunningly reasonable? 

The larger topic of Temple football's future home has been raging for decades, specifically the debate over whether to build a stadium on campus. As recently as 2018, the university seemed intent on making it a reality, even releasing renderings of what the facility would look like. That plan received its fair share of opposition from neighbors who would need to relocate. Speaking strictly from an aesthetic standpoint, they could've done a lot better than the glorified high school field pictured below:

Five years ago, the administration seemed poised to fight off the locals and make it all happen. Now? Not so much. As best I can tell, plans have stalled. In 2020, Temple renewed its lease and has the option the extend its agreement until 2029. Will the Owls build a new stadium before then? A lot can happen in six years, but right now, it feels unlikely.

4) Two paragraphs on Tom Herman playing air guitar

If you've paid any attention to the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament, you'll know that Florida Atlantic's improbable run has been one of the more heartwarming stories. Naturally, new FAU football coach Tom Herman is soaking up the school spirit and found his way to New York as the Owls knocked off Kansas State to punch their ticket to the Final Four last Saturday. Please see the clip above.

How do we grade out this performance? My first thought is a B-. Major points for the effort. Minor deduction for the controlled intensity. Though the air-fingerpicking implies that he knows how to play a real guitar, I prefer performers who slam on their fake instruments and really go for it.

5) WHERE ARE THEY NOW: Kelly Bryant Edition

Wondering what happened to [INSERT FORMER PLAYER HERE] can lead you down some interesting rabbit holes. Enter Kelly Bryant, notable That Guy who led Clemson to the College Football Playoff in 2017, was replaced by Trevor Lawrence the very next season, and finished out his career as Missouri.

What's he up to these days? Apparently, trying out for the WWE. Bryant will flaunt his pro wrestling skills this weekend in advance of WrestleMania 39. My question: If he makes it through, will he be more likely to include elements from Clemson or Missouri into his shtick?

Others Receiving Votes

• It's possible that Renfield will be the worst Nic Cage movie of all time. This looks really bad. So bad that it might override the potential for ironic enjoyment.

• Adam Sandler's speech (and origin story) after winning the 2023 Mark Twain Prize was pretty awesome, especially after he started using his normal person voice:

• This explainer of why our Earth has seasons was more interesting than I expected:

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Thanks for reading. Until next week, stay solid!-Ty Hildenbrandt