THE LOOKAHEAD

The 4 teams that could break college football this weekend

No intro fluff this time. Big week. Good games. Football? Football.

I don’t know who will emerge victorious from this absolute banger slate, but I know which ones would break college football the fastest. Let’s discuss.

Notre Dame lights up Ohio State

I admit this year’s Notre Dame feels kind of cool — I saw a tweet suggesting Marcus Freeman and Sam Hartman were the most handsome coach-quarterback duo in the nation, and my least favorite part about that tweet was that I agreed with it — but still. Notre Dame can’t actually be cool, right?

If Sam Hartman outduels Kyle McCord —he certainly has the experiential edge, what with being like 35 years old — and the Irish send the Buckeyes home with a loss, our world might get catapulted back in time.

Gas prices will plummet to 65 cents per gallon. A grandfather you didn’t even know you had will shuffle into your room wearing a 1979 Cotton Bowl crew neck sweatshirt. Hartman, of course, receives another year of eligibility.

Iowa beats Penn State 3-0

Mostly out of morbid curiosity, I’d love to see what happens when Iowa wins a huge matchup with genuinely no offense. Yes, offensive coordinator Brian Ferentz needs to average 25 points per game to keep his job, per his contract… but does he really?

I’m convinced contracts don’t actually mean anything in this sport. There’s far too much money for anyone to wrap their heads around. Most of that cash ends up going to a guy chilling at his beach house months after he gets fired anyway. And if Iowa knocks off a top-10 Penn State team while scoring a single field goal, who cares what its OC’s contract says? Kirk Ferentz would cut all his offensive players before dramatically altering his staff. Not to give him ideas or anything. 

Colorado wins… again

I’ve generally refrained from discussing Colorado this season. Sadly, the clandestine sports media cabal that controls all college football coverage has finally made its way to part-time newsletter contributors. They told me if I give a take about Deion Sanders, they’ll let me live long enough to write my 3,000-word analysis on Ohio vs Bowling Green next week.

The Buffs winning three games is remarkable, period. I shudder to think what will happen if they get their fourth at Oregon.

Plenty of people are interested in Colorado, as evidenced by ESPN reporting approximately every living human watched its game against Colorado State last weekend. If the Buffs topple the Ducks, ESPN will have to start claiming viewership somewhere in the low 10 billions.

Clemson demolishes Florida State

Can you imagine how vindicated Dabo Swinney would be if his Tigers took down the Noles in convincing fashion? All the talk about his drop-off in recruiting, his refusal to use the portal, his questionable assistant hires — all rendered moot with a resounding win in Death Valley.

I think Swinney might achieve self-actualization if Clemson wins. He’d somehow find a Bible verse nobody knew about that explicitly condemns the use of the transfer portal, proving it truly was evil all along. Repent, repent, and let he who has not taken a washed-up grad transfer quarterback throw the first stone.

-Bradley Hohulin

WIN A FIRE PIT IN WEEK 4!

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THE LOOKBACK

Things you missed from last week

1) They say if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. But what if college football is already broken and we decide to break it a little more just for the hell of it? For what it’s worth, I’m all for the idea of HIGH STAKES PAC-2 / MOUNTAIN WEST PROMOTION AND RELEGATION PLANS WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2) Lane Kiffin has a theory that Kevin Steele has secretly been replaced as Alabama’s defensive coordinator and mentioned it during a presser. I love this so much. Doesn’t he know that when you spot a tell, you keep it to yourself? For that reason, it’s unclear whether he actually believes this or is just a master troll:

3) Shoutout to our friends over at SEC Shorts for yet another gem of a video. Originality and creativity is hard to find in this line of work. Hands up for the real ones pushing the limits:

4) It’s a matter of when, not if Mel Tucker gets fired from Michigan State:

5) Lincoln Riley got a reporter from the Orange County Register suspended for almost no reason. After public outcry, he then got him unsuspended while trying to act like he taught us all an important lesson. Thanks, Dad. To paraphrase the wise prophet Elaine Benes, “Hey Riley, your cranium called, it’s got some space to rent.”

6) What if I told you that one of the most consequential games of the weekend is Oklahoma State vs. Iowa State? The Pokes got blown out by South Alabama in Week 3, yet Mike Gundy insists nothing is wrong. Meanwhile, Matt Campbell is a little touchy after Iowa State’s rough start. Whichever coach loses this game is going to be even more under the microsope.

-Ty Hildenbrandt

THE VERBALLERHOOD

Your recipe for Sourdough Saturday

The first few weeks of the season have been an elaborate proving process, as college football kneaded itself into a malleable state ahead of Week 4’s oven. Duly nicknamed “Sourdough Saturday,” it’s important that you’re prepared accordingly for a full day of action. Just follow this recipe and you’ll be fine:

1️⃣ Listen to our Week 4 preview episode

It’s free. It’s friendly. It doesn’t take itself too seriously and wonders if Lane Kiffin’s conspiracy theory is true and if there’s a secret Weekend At Bernie’s situation going on at Alabama. Just click below to get up to speed.

☝️ Also, if you consider yourself a super college football dork, we did a very deep statistical dive on the state of Florida’s offense and the source of Washington’s consistency. We’re particularly excited that we get to do these every Thursday as part of our bonus content over on Patreon, and we’re proud of how this turned out. You can listen to a brief preview here and decide if it’s for you.

2️⃣ Call the Reverb Line at 855-VERBAL3 (855-837-2253)

While you’re watching the games this weekend, call our voicemail line and leave us a real-time reaction. The more emotion, the better. Really go for it. We’ll play our favorites on our midnight reaction stream. Speaking of which, you can find it here at midnight ET on Saturday. Oh, and if you’re looking for a fun place to hang, we invite you to come lurk on your Discord and see if it’s something you’re into.

3️⃣ Support the podcast by leaving us a 5-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts

The college football community, as a whole, likes to sample college football podcasts in the first month of the season. Your reviews really help turn passersby into loyal members of the Verballerhood. Please consider leaving us a 5-star rating and review if you listen over on Apple Podcasts! And, of course, Verballers.com is the spot for you if you’d like ad-free episodes, bonus content and more!